How can I hate you? But How can I love you?

Mom
She is the only person that I told in this thread.
She's so stubborn.
I'm very sad.
She didn't know about my favourite things, colour, style.
And she didn't know about my heart and this feeling.

I need her as my mom! not as my life driver!
Everything that I do is for her! But she always look at my self in the dark!
Everything's so wrong!
She just angry and didn't give me a distinguished gentle advice, always angry, angry, and angry!

Now, It's really hurt me!
I wanna freedom! I want to be myself.
But I need brothers or sisters in my side. But I'm the only one.
I'm so sad in this way.
My mom never look as my side. She always look from her side!
She don't ask me 'why'! She drown on her mind which always hurt me!
I need your open eyes. Please.

Look at me, ask myself, take a pure care for myself(not for yours, mom), please understand me.